And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm bleeding and have questions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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