Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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