Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize