my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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