he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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