I'm passing your future prison.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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