His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
