video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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