The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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