I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
