I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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