I must be too annoying 4 u.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
