you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
