I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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