You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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