Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
