At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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