Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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