Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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