Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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