Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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