I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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