This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
