I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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