i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
