i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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