she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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