In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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