So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
