I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
