Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
