we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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