Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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