Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When are your genitals available?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
