i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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