Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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