Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
