You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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