I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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