if i can run in heels then i can drive
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
