thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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