Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
