CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
