So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
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