If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
