Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
