just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
