The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
