She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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