I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
