Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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