Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
