there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
