Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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