The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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