I wish i was in the wii world.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
