All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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