put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Duck Duck Cougar?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
