it's like heaven, but drunker
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
