You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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