It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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