I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
