so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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